my wallet... FOUND!!

very luckily i found my wallet... haha
special thanks for the person who keep it for me when i drop it^^
i lie to mushroom that the girl is a leng lui and she's only 16 loh
and i told her that i ask her out this saturday to watch movie
haha... and she believe it leh...
really so XO lol...

hui ling birthday last sunday...
and i only get to wish her happy birthday on monday loh
coz her handphone has been stolen by some stupid malays...
she was quite sad aobut her birthday leh
duno why... maybe it's becoz many people forget about her birthday loh
dun feel sorry that when i wish u happy birthday u din bother me loh
i really nothing lah... haha
just be happy and sorry loh...

haiz...
it has been days since i last chat to her...
kinda miss her right now... lolz...
duno what is she doing leh...
she get 18.5 in the moral test today
and i get 19 haha...
i'm still better than her o^^

hmm... i have been thinking recently
about what i can do with her
or what i can do to make her happy
but actually... she will be happy without me keep bothering her
she seems happy this few days...
maybe it's becoz i din go around her and disturb her gua...
haha... she happy then good loh
by the way, there's nothing i can do anymore
it seem to be not my part to make her happy
it's someone else's now...

still cant forget about her loh...
maybe time will do the job for me...
hehe...
-must remember to take good care of yourself o
-dun always sleep too late bah...
if not you be sick de loh
-must take care of your health o... dun always din eat at skul lah
that day mei sien give u de pau... it's actually mine loh... haha
coz she say that you are hungry... but u din take it... hehe
-hope u can pass your sport test bah^^
-but if u feel unhappy... i still hope that you will talk to me about it
although you haven talk to me about it before lah

hey guy... dun keep ask her about the guy lah...
she will feel uneasy de leh.... just let it be
she will tell whenever she wants to
so dun keep fooling around with it...

ok lah... i will just stop here then...
good nite everyone^^
remember one thing...
in your world, there's me to cheer u all up
haha...

getting over a new liife^^

haiz... yesterday lost my wallet in titiwangsa station leh...
so zdao loh... i went back to find it but still cant find it leh
lost my IC and smtg very important inside leh...
lolzzzz... failed to protect it... and now all gone edi...
it have been in my wallet for over a year loh...
the oni thing i hav about her loh... now gone d
sienzzz...

went home at about 7 smtg then bath eat then straight slp edi...
still mourning about it... the thing i've lost loh...

just as stupid as usual...

yesterday night after finish reading chemistry i on9 for a while
just to see if there is anything i can do
but then once i on9 she ask me whether i finish my newspapaer cutting anot
actually i din think of doing it be4... haha
but then she ask me to help her print the common illness in malaysia
i remember that miss tania said that she want it from the newspaper and not print
so i just say that i have extra from my work...
then i ask her whether she want anot
(ps: actually i have find also)
she answer that she wants it for her and arieal so i just promise to bring it to her the next day
soon after that i take out the whole bunch of newspaper in this week and start to find "the common illness in malaysia" for her
wah... it's not as easy as i thought i would be
after finding all the newspaper in this week i could only found around 8 "illness"
and it's already 11 something...
but i still short of 12!!!
so i just go out to the store room and take all the newspaper in and continue my work, searching for the "common illness"
at around 12.30 i finally found about 17 "illness"
and i remember that i have brought some newspaper about "illness" to skul
so i decide to slp and continue my work tomolo...
and that' how my thursday night ends...

today i reach skul quite early
when i reach skul she was sleeping there at mei sien place and the door was opened wide
so i just walk there and close the door so she wont get a cold ^.^
when she wake up i just gave the newspaper cutting to her and went to the toilet...
when coming back to the class she purposely block my way loh
then i just spray water to her as my hand was still wet.... lolz....
(sry loh... just joking wif u... but i noe that it was stupid...)

for the following lesson saw her studying chemis and look blur blur loh
i just walk there and ask her whether she need my halp anot but she say that she can cope with it and tell me that she isn't that blur loh
maybe she feels that i think she is weak in many subject gua
so she speak so.....

haiz... i'm trying not to disturb her anymore...
coz i noe that the one she cares is not me
and the present of me will only bring pressure to them
i hope that she will just be happy with him
and i noe she will....
if not i wouldn't have let you be with her...

please treat her well...
treat her with care as you noe that she is so careless
she always hurt herself during outdoor activities so take care of her well loh
she sometimes forget to drink water in skul de loh
so please remind her to drink more water bah
she is weaker than other people de so protect her with all your strength loh
i duno y am i lecturing over here...
just....
take care of her well
make her happy and i will be happy
i noe that i'm silly talking about these kind things over here
but at the end i hope that both of you can live together happily

she really cares about you so dun do something silly
she is not a toy so please dun say give up then give up
please take good care of her...
i just not the person she want but you are
so dun hurt her or else you will noe what i will do then
gambateh bah for her and for yourself

good nite then... gud nite...

I'm wrong

i'm wrong...
who she nid aint me but you i think
we both noe that it's impossible for me and her
but i'm just the one who keep lying to myself that i can

sry... for all the problem i've brought to your life
sry... for making u feeling sad or depressed since last year
sry... for making u lose a fren that could maybe be your boyfren
sry... for keep disturbing u
sry... for making u cries
sry... for making u to become someone who is not the usual "child of hapiness"
sry... i'm really sorry

i'm the one that should have give up
sry... that i fall too deep for u
sry...

加油吧！

“喜欢一个人不一定要拥有她，看到她幸福快乐我已经心满意足了”
不知道到这句话是谁对我说的。。。
说是容易，但又有谁是真正能做到的呢？？？
我做不到。。。。
我唯一知道的是喜欢一个人如果不努力去争取，
那我一定会后悔。。。
所以我不会放弃它的。。。
我会一直努力打动她的心。。。

但我希望你也不要放弃，
因为我没有资格叫你放弃你喜欢的人。。。
我们一起努力吧，
虽然你将会是我的轻敌，
但我还是希望这不会破坏我们的友情

不要轻易放弃自己喜欢的人，

不然我会看不起你哦！！

一起加油吧。。。

should i or shouldn't i...

spend the whole day in skul in a sad mood...
din even talk to her the whole day...
today malay period i saw her facing problem wif copyign what teacher write
so i decide to finish my web A faster and borrow her
duno y i dun dare to talk to her...
so i told mei sien to take it to her
but she din see it... not even look at it...
after that comes the add math period
the teacher ask us to finish 10 question of past year
so i think that maybe i could finish it faster and borrow her
coz i noe that she is sure to have problem wif it
but it's the same... she pass it bac to me...
feel kinda sad that time... but what to do...
just lying there to slp coz i dun wana see smtg i dun wana see

saw someone blog... and feel sad after that...
duno what to comment... he is aftering her also
maybe i should do better myself and win her over
but is it possible?? the answer is NO...
he's getting better and better wif her
while me... there's a barrier between she and me
now she dun tell me things about her anymore
not telling me how she feel anymore...
and i'm having difficulties just to chat wif her...
duno what to do... feeling to cry now...

just hope that she will be happy
she is sure a careless girl...
everyday here hurt there hurt...
take care lah and everyday on9 till so late
then at skul also no energy to study edi loh
but maybe that the girl i like...
hope u will feel happy lah... gambateh o
i think of it already... i WONT give up de
i'll fight till the end...
wish me luck...

HOPING FOR LOVE

haiz... this few days was a hard days for me....
i have add math exam today at the fifth period...
once i reach skul i just ask ppl for add math book to revise what i have studied
but then i noe that i read the wrong chapter... heng!!!
what to do?? just can study again be4 the exam lolzz..

duno y i just cant stop thinking of her...
really feel like asking her whether she know how to do anot...
but i dun dare to go near her...
maybe i just to coward to do so
haiz... really feeling depress with myself....
now she didn't write on her blog anymore...
she had opened a new one
maybe it's becoz she dun wana let me see how she feels now
or maybe there's smtg i cant see...

i really duno what can i do to make her happy
as now i dun even dare to go near her and chat
mostly becoz there are always many people around her
and i duno what to say to her...
just like today as she sit there alone
i just go and sit beside her thinking maybe there's smtg i can chat wif her...
i was so nervous that i keep spinning mei sien ruler and keep make it falls to the ground...
lolz... really duno what am i doing actually
i really duno what can i say anymore so i just got up and go away
sometimes i feel that i still stand a chance but then the other day she kills it

hiaz... i saw her dairy... oni a little...
it's ah woo who let me see...
and it's about the guy she likes...
but she din mention about his name, just a "he"
she seems to be feeling depress too
just like me feeling depress for her, she feels depress for another people
arrh!!! maybe i should just give up...
as there are many people who are infront of me trying to get her love
i just a noob... looking her from far far away...
she is like the moon to me
it's impossible for me to get the moon
as i'm not qualified and not good enough...
haiz... maybe i should just slp and leave her alone
not to disturb her anymore
maybe that will make her feel better
as i feel that someone known as "brother" is aiming for her too
maybe it's just my thought but... duno lah
just my feeling... am i stupid or perhaps i'm just too sturbon...
everytime i say i wana give up she will do smtg that makes me feel that maybe i should continue...

arrh!!!! i'm really going crazy!!!!!
but one thing i noe
and that is i LOVE her so much
so much that i would do anything.....
ANYTHING!!! just to make her happy
but just hope that i have the chance to do so...
or maybe i should just GIVE UP on her...


I'M A NOOB IN LOVE CIRCLE.... WAITING FOR SOMEONE WHO REALLY CARES ABOUT ME... CARES ABOUT WHO I AM AND WHAT I AM.... PLS... DUN LET ME WAIT TOO LONG FOR YOU TO ARRIVE.... AS I"M TIRED, REALLY TIRED OF LIVING LIKE THIS... SOULESS, THOUGHTLESS, LOVELESS

HOPING FOR LOVE....

Sick

I'm sick for the following 3 days...
cough, flu and fever all together...
haiz... the second day after coming back from chuat house
most of the ppl who went there fallen sick
maybe it's because we slp too late on saturday
on saturday night, the first night i spend time in a cc
Infinity or better known as WCG
we play dota there till about 2 am before we went back to chuat house...
really feeling kind of weird
then on sunday after going back to my house i just sleep until night
then the next day i fall sick
haizzz.... quite tired now coz just finish exam today
moral exam... sienzz
i think i will just stop here
nite....^^

HaPpY ^.^

today's kick off just the same as usual
reach skul at about 7am then just chat with my frens
all of us have decided to go to chuat house on saturday
coz all of us wana go wcg to play dota... haha
although i have said that i have already quite dota
but i think sometimes just a dota game will be fine
haha...

duno why... hui wen seems to be a bit weird
be4 i think that she is a gud gal but now i change my mind on her
haha... she likes to "zhat" me all the time
talking to her really makes me feels crazy sometimes....
by the ways she is still so cute with the way she is

another one... a gal with chromosomes number 44+XO
really duno how to desceibe her... maybe somedays when u get to noe her
u will feel as if duno wana cry or laugh when u are talking to her
she like talking nonsence...
she thinks of somethings ppl wont have thought of...
maybe that's what her speciallities... haha
her conversation with wen jun really looks like a comedy
the way they talk, the way they act....
really so "zadao"...

hmm... today chuat, bird and seik you din come to skul
all three of them are going for the car license exam today
so it was quite a dull day as our claz is just not the usual without them
be4 skul's end i heard that chuat have fail his car license test
pity chuat... as he is the oni one to fail his car test that day
seik you and bird pass the test comfortably...

today's last period is the sport period
chuat din bring the soccer today so we can't play soccer
as there are oni volley balls so i decide to use it as soccer
but then i get scolded by the sport teachers
haha but still feels fun when playing soccer
till now i still can't forget how we lost the soccer match
really a big blow for me... losing the match in the final minute
haiz... i guess i just have to live on with it

but today wasn't a sad day for me...
at the sport period i got the chance to play volleyball with her...
haha... really feel so happy at that time
mei shean tell me that she cried loudy when i catch the ball when
her "best" friend kick the ball towards me... haha
duno what to respond at that time but really feels happy that time

today after tuition at 10pm
i quickly on9 to see if she got on9
but she din... lolz... really feel like chatting to her loh...
but she din on9 also gud de
at least maybe she is resting gua...
these few days she seems to be sick...
everyday see her headace, legace, handace and many many more ar
perhaps it's becoz she din get enough of slp loh...
today she say that she have ulcer loh... not just an ordinary ulcer
but a 4x ulcersssssss....
she say that she accidently bite herself
and she says that now it turns out to be like a map...
haiz...
that who she is... always so careless...
could u imagine an ulcer which look like a map... =.=
haha... she's quite funny then...
but when watching her in pain makes me feel sad too...
hope that she will recover soon loh... gud nite shean...
slp tight all my frens... ^.^

We have lost it...

today at skul i was quite nervous about the soccer match
i have to hide it from others coz i cant be panik
finally it was 3.10pm and the skul end
we pass the ball around the class then we went to the canteen for smtg to eat
at that time she sms jenny to wish us luck
i was quite down that time
i'm wondering why she sms jenny instead of me...
maybe it's becoz she really doesn't have any feel towards me
but then we went to the soccer field waiting for our match to come

our match starts at 3.45pm so we make a circle to play passing
soon its our turn to play the game
i keep looking for No.9 but cant find it so i decided to take No.7
the number i love most but i think i just din live up the expectation

when the match started
i was quite uncomfortable with the ball
we tried to take first blood (the first to score)
and a few minute later we got what we wanted
their defence make a mistake and seik you grab that chance to take first blood for us
we were totally crazy at the moment
we thought we could go on and win the match
but then not long after the first goal
they score an equaliser to make it 1-1
that score continue until half time

at the start of second half we make a mistake
letting the opponent to hav too many chances oni for our goalkeeper to deny them the lead
i seldom get the ball and i cant cope with their playing style
it was hard for me to control the ball and i din even get a chance to shoot the ball
i was quite quiet at the ball for the whole match as i was not in form
i was tired but i was determined to win the ball from the opponent
at the last 2 minute i cross a ball from the left side into the penalty box looking for seik you
and seik you jump at full length to head the ball in
Goal!!! 1 minute left and we were 2-1 ahead!!!
but then the nightmare started
as the ball started from kick off
jun qing dribble past seik you and jing hong
when jing hong turn he knock jenny and both of them falls
leaving a one on one situation between wen jun(GK) and jun qing
and jun qing make no mistake to score the goal

the goal lead us to the penalty
i was quite nervous becoz i always lose on penalties
i have penalty pheobia!!!
their striker make no mistake by scoring the first penalty for them
but i still step on to take the first penalty
pang!! my shot hit the upper post and went out
i wan devastated!! at that moment tears coming flowing from my eyes
i was disappointed... i was lost... and i feel guilty
jun qing come on and score the second penalty for them
and now it's seik you turn to take the penalty
he shoot the ball to the left and the keeper save it
Bi!! Bi!! there goes the whistle
and that the end of our soccer competition journey
we lose it again... and it's my fault

i din play well the whole match
i seldom run... i seldom defend...
i just stand at the midfield waiting for the ball to come
i mess up the whole team...
tears come flowing from my eyes...
that's the first time i cry for a soccer competition
i really love soccer so much and i always wanted to win a soccer competition
but in my last yeat in Chong Hwa
i blow the chance away...
i"m the loser in the end
i cry quietly at the toilet as i cant believe that i have lost the match

that day i went home
after bathing i just lied on my bed looking at the celling
fell down and hurt...
at the same time i hope that she will sms me to comfort me
but she didnt... i waited and waited but it's the same
and finally i sms her to tell her that we had lost the match
i think she would have know it
hoping for some encouragement or perhaps just a bit love from her
but the msg she reply makes me more sad
maybe i just don't stand a chance to be with her

that night i was sad... down... and depressed...
feeling lonely and cold...
really cold...

soccer match eve...

there will be a soccer match tomolo at skul
involving my claz (my team) against 5 A Xiao
so i'm little nervous here.... haha
althought it's just a normal soccer competition but i really hope to win it and get into last 8
maybe it's becoz i have lose too many things this year
i lost the claz coir competition, basketball competition, drama competiton....
feel sad about losing so many competition so i wont let this one to be a failure again
i started playing soccer since primary standard 2 and i love soccer so much...
i'm gona do all my best tomolo..... throwing all i have into it

this is my last yeazr in chong hwa independant high skul
so i dun wana end it dully
at the same time... i hope...
she will wish me luck in the match
she says that she cant stay bac to watch me play the soccer match that day
quite disappointed at that time but then she gave me a big encouragement

today i saw her notebook...
there is a calender in it
she wrote down everyone's birthday in it
but not mine.... quite hurt....
but what can i do??
oni to work hard to attract her attention...

perhaps she dont love me as i do
but i will try to win the match in her claz number
No.9
i really hope that she will accept me
so i'm not going to give up on her easily
i'm gona try all the best to win her heart
though there are many ppl also trying to do so
i will not give up on her
WIN HER OVER!!!
That's my promise to myself...

A happy day perhaps...

wednesday was the day my class competing for the drama contest
so today (tuesday) we decided to stay back at school to practise our drama character
hmm... quite less ppl stay back for the practise
oni me, mei sien, man shean, sun hung, pei ni and wan ying attend the practise
most of the "actor" were too busy with their scheduels....
so they cant attend it
but in the end it was quite fun actually
we keep laughing from the start of the practise till the end
someone just can't stop laughing....
(pss... i din say it was shean... haha)

then shean say that she hav to be bac at 5pm
quite sad hearing that news coz she hav to go back edi
so when shean wana go home i just went to her and say
"i wana buy smtg so i accompany u out to skul bah"
she just smile and although i noe it's a stupid excuse
but i just cant think of other words to say
i duno how she feel about the excuse.. haha
we hav some conversation during the walk out to school
and i was quite happy coz i get to accompany her out.... haha...
i really hope that she wont feel bad or depressed with me
coz last time she feel uncomfortable with that... haiz...
i was not gud at speaking to ppl so when facing her
it makes me more difficult for me to say anythings
hmm... duno how she feel now
but in the end this was a happy day for me
maybe it ntg much for u all
but for me... it's a big step forward... haha
so gona slp loh
gud nite all^^